I returned to church today, a week after we suffered a second an unexpected miscarriage. A year and a half ago my wife suffered her fist miscarriage. It was a terrible feeling for both of us. I never thought that the passing of an unborn child could hurt so much. It is a terrible experience to go through and enduring it a second time is too much to bear. For both children we went to the motions of getting excited, eager to prepare for the baby’s arrival and then when we least expected it, God did not allow it to happened. Many parents who suffer through this always ask themselves why? Is it medical? Was there something that we could have done to prevent it? Will we see them again? And where could they be now? As head of the family nothing has made me feel more of a loser than the loss of our unborn children. As men we are genetically programmed to be the providers and protectors of our families. A father will die for his children in a split second. We will not give it a second thought. We are supposed to make the scary things go away and when we fail, it will eat us alive for the rest of our live.
Losing my second baby hurt me--again. But I have learned to move on. When we learned about the pregnancy I went to church to thank God and pray for this baby to be born healthy. Today I returned to add a sense of closure to the ordeal. King David did the same before he lost his son. He prayed and begged God to spare the life of the child. He would not eat, or even bathe. When he finally got the news about his baby’s passing he returned to his normal life.
In 2 Samuel 12: 21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
I have also gotten comfort and peace of mind because I know that our baby, like our fist baby is with Jesus Christ. They are in a far better place that the earth. In the bible Jesus said
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.“ Luke 18:17.
22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
I have also gotten comfort and peace of mind because I know that our baby, like our fist baby is with Jesus Christ. They are in a far better place that the earth. In the bible Jesus said
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.“ Luke 18:17.
Our babies went with Jesus Christ. They are in his Kingdom. As a Christian father I know that I will see them. They cannot come to me, but I will go to them. As a Christian I cannot despair and beat myself over the head, constantly double guessing myself. God has not left me alone. God has given me the comfort I need to overcome this trial.
